The Other Side of Broken - M Chapter
by skygirl55
Summary: Insert for Ch 14 of "The Other Side of Broken"


**A/N:** This is the M-rated insert for the fic **The Other Side of Broken.** It takes place in the middle of Ch 14. The first few paragraphs are copied from there for continuity.

* * *

Finishing kneading the palm of Kate's right hand, Castle set it back down on the bed and brushed his thumb over her wrist. "Are you relaxed now?" he asked barely above a whisper. He surely hoped so given how he had massaged out the kinks in almost every muscle group she had.

A soft smile crossed her face and she cracked one eye open to look at him. "Incredibly. How many massage classes did you take?"

"Just the one, but it was ninety minutes."

She let out a contented exhale. "Worth it."

Smiling to himself, Castle sprawled out on the bed beside her and brushed his lips across the apple of her cheek. Nuzzling his nose against her hairline, he whispered into her ear, "Someday when you're ready I'll even give you one with a happy ending." That was, after all, the most fun part of sensual massages between couples. As much as he enjoyed feeling her body give in to relaxation beneath his fingertips, he'd love it even more when those same fingers could coax her into falling apart completely.

Castle truly had meant his comment to be light and jokey, but when her eyes popped open and she spoke his name hesitantly he feared he may have spoken prematurely.

Pushing himself up with his palm flat against the bed, he promised her in a soft tone, "I said when you're ready, Kate; there's no rush at all. Hey—relaxing massages don't need tears." He brushed his thumb over her cheek to catch one of the sliding droplets, though more continued to fall.

Kate sat up, using one hand to keep the sheet against her body, and using the other to latch on to his wrist and bring his knuckles to her lips. "Do you know how amazing you are?"

"I've been told once or twice," he joked in avoidance of their earnest moment.

She gripped his wrist a little harder. "Rick, I'm serious. I...I don't know how I could ever possibly live up to how incredible you're being to me."

He shook his head. "You deserve it." In his mind, after being through six years of horrors, she deserved to be treated like royalty. A candle-lit massage? That was the least he could do and he planned on doing more and more in order to make her feel loved, safe, and treasured for the duration of their relationship, which he hoped to be a very, very long time.

Still keeping his hand close to her face, she gazed up at him, tentative. "You know I haven't been with anyone since…"

He swallowed hard as her eyes had darkened along with her comment. "Yeah I know."

"But, maybe…" Her voice drifted off as she let go of the sheet covering her torso. As she was sitting up, it dropped away from her body, bunching up on her lap and exposing her breasts to him.

He glanced down, but only for a moment before meeting her eye again and opening his hand so he could cup her chin. "I don't want it to be too soon," he said while also meaning, _I don't want it to be something you regret_ , but her gaze was steady and clearly wanting.

Using her grasp on his wrist, she moved his hand from her jaw to cover her right breast. "It's not." Then, she leaned over and kissed him.

Castle moaned into her mouth as his hand gripped onto her breast and he gave it a light squeeze. God, she was incredible in so many ways, but trusting him to treat her with love and respect made her even more so. He would not squander that trust, though, and planned on giving her the most amazing _happy ending_ she'd ever had.

Reluctantly removing his left hand from her breast, Castle wrapped it around Kate's waist and used it to rotate her body ninety degrees so that she could recline properly on the bed as he lavished her throat and neck with kisses. Once in that position he tossed the sheet away, expecting to find her fully nude, but instead saw that she still wore an olive green pair of bikini underwear. He slid his hand across her belly to her right hip and then hooked his fingers around the waistband. Without hesitation, she lifted her hips to help him remove the final item of clothing from her body. He tossed it aside casually and then gazed back to see that—god—she was beautiful—even more gorgeous than he imagined she would be.

Before he could lower his lips to her breasts, she gently cupped the underside of his jaw, pulling his mouth back to hers. He groaned when her tongue swept inside, skimming over the roof of his mouth, but gasped when her hand landed on his waistband, her thumb millimeters from caressing him through his pants. "Wait," he said, pulling back. Her brow furrowed as she looked up at him. "I mean, you don't have to do that." He reached down and retrieved her hand, brushing his lips over the tip of her index and middle fingers. "This can just be about you."

"Ah-oh-okay," she replied, though she was clearly stunned by the concept. Of course, that only made him happier to satisfy her; to give her the pleasure she deserved.

After flashing her a reassuring smile, Castle's lips continued their journey through the valley of her breasts. He skimmed his tongue across her flesh until he captured her right nipple in his mouth and she let out a shuttered breath. He hummed and flicked his tongue over the tip, wondering just how much it would take before she fell apart beneath him.

While paying thorough attention to her breasts, the writer moved his hands against the flesh of her torso, that time not working out any knots, but gently caressing enough to fuel the small sighs and whimpers escaping her lips. When his left hand settled atop her pubic bone, he allowed two fingers to graze the outside of her silt and realized just how wet she was. God, he must have been torturing her—enjoyable torturing, of course, but still torture.

Castle momentarily lifted his head to make sure that Kate was still comfortable with his ministrations, but he couldn't meet her eye. She had her head rolled back, eyes squeezed shut, and her bottom lip trapped between her teeth as she arched her back in an attempt to press herself further into his hand. In that moment, he fell in love with her all over again.

Not wanting her to suffer any longer he moved his body so he was between her legs and kissed his way across her inner thigh while his index finger skimmed down her slit and entered her channel. She let out a small whimper as he sunk knuckle deep. He couldn't help but groan himself—god she was so ready for him.

He added a second finger, slowly moving them in and out as her hips began to roll forward, matching his rhythm. He continued this motion for several moments as he watched her facial expressions change from aroused to borderline desperate. He knew she had to have been close, but wasn't quite there yet, so he removed his fingers and began to kiss his way across her lower lips, flicking out his tongue and tasting her.

"Jesus, Rick." She cried out when the flat of his tongue finally pressed against her sensitive bud. Castle smiled to himself, proud of his successful teasing, but he didn't want to deny her any more. Swirling his tongue around her clit, he pressed his fingers inside her again, curling them upwards and increasing the pressure against her until he felt her explode. She screamed out a bit louder than he expected as her body contracted again and again, the wave washing over her.

He removed his fingers and licked at her flesh gently, hoping to ease her down from the orgasm, but her body continued to tremble and, by the time he looked up, he was concerned to see that she had begun to cry. "Kate?" he asked tentatively, crawling up her body as she drew in her knees, turned over to her side and curled her arms into her body. "Are you okay?"

"Yes."

Taking note of her continued tears and trembling he followed up with, "Are you sure?"

She nodded and softly requested, "Just hold me?"

"Of course." He grabbed for the sheet so she wouldn't be cold and tucked it around them both as he spooned himself behind her and held her tightly until her sobs quieted and she drifted off to sleep.

* * *

Twenty minutes later, Castle awoke and realized that the majority of the candles in the room were still burning. Though he did not want to risk waking his sleeping companion, he also knew that his massage accessories needed cleaned up, so he slid away from her as carefully as he could and began the task of blowing out the candles and lining them up on the tile bathroom floor to cool before he put them away.

During his last trip, he realized that Kate was awake and staring at him, so he walked over and sat on the bed beside her hips. "Hey. Sorry—I didn't mean to wake you."

"'sokay." She mumbled. "Sorry if I scared you before."

"I wasn't scared, just concerned that you were all right."

She nodded. "I am. I really am for the first time in a long time. It…it wasn't just what you did, which was amazing, but everything. It felt like…I don't know how to describe it. Like finally letting go. Finally realizing that I've moved on and that its okay to let myself be happy, because I am happy, even after I thought I'd never be happy again."

Her words broke his heart, yet thrilled him all the same. He reached out and touched her face and she smiled at him.

"You know what else?"

"Hmm?"

"I love you."

His jaw dropped slightly, too afraid to believe that he heard her correctly. "I…are you sure that's not the orgasm talking?"

She giggled. "No. I love you, Richard Castle."

"I love you, Kate Beckett." He echoed her before giving her a sound kiss.

"Now get back in bed."

"Just one second." He held up an index finger before quickly retrieving the final two candles and rushing them into the bathroom. Then, after switching off the bathroom light, he hurried around to his side of the bed. Before he could kneel down to climb inside, she stopped him.

"Oh, you won't be needing your clothes."

"I…" He glanced down at himself and then back at her to see that her darkened expression was back. "Are you sure?"

She nodded and pushed herself into a kneeling position, which caused the sheet to drop away from her still-naked body. She shuffled her way over to him on her shins, reached out and began unbuttoning his shirt. "I want you to make love to me."

Castle gripped onto her forearms and leaned in so his forehead rested against hers. "God, Kate. I want you so much."

"I know."

After shedding his shirt with efficiency, Castle wrapped his arms around the naked torso of his companion and pulled her into a searing kiss. God, he loved her, even more now that he could feel the heat of her body against his, her breasts pressed into his chest. He wanted to love her, to make sure she knew he was unlike anyone she'd ever met before and he would never betray her or hurt her; he would only make her happy for as long as she would let him.

Before climbing up on the mattress, he shed his jeans and boxers and then he lay back, letting her have her turn at exploring his flesh. They kissed while her hands roamed over his chest, shoulders, and biceps. Then she trailed her lips down his throat and over his sternum while skimming her hands over his belly and then teasing him by skirting her fingertips over his hips and upper thighs, but never once touching _him_.

Growling a little at how aroused she was making him, Castle sat up and used his hand gently on her arm to guide her mouth back to his, sweeping his tongue against hers. She nipped at his bottom lip before her hand finally skimmed down the length of him and he moaned, "God, Kate," against her mouth; she chuckled.

Their foreplay continued for several more minutes until Castle was certain he wouldn't be able to last another moment. He wanted to make love to her so badly, he just couldn't wait. Slightly overzealous, he nudged her back against the mattress and settled himself between her legs, prepared to arch his body over hers, but then when he looked at her eyes, he noticed the slightest hint of hesitation and nearly cursed under his breath for how insensitive he was being.

As much as he wanted to make love to her, to make her moan out his name and cry out as another orgasm rocked her body that was not what this moment was about. This moment was about her being comfortable and her healing by having sex for the first time since her assault. Lowering himself down to his forearms, he asked her gently, "What do you need?" She shook her head, but he persisted, not wanting to move forward unless she was one hundred percent committed. "Kate, please. Talk to me."

Her hands settled against his waist and she requested gently, "Just look at me, okay? Please?"

"Of course." Balancing on one forearm, he pressed a gentle kiss against her lips, and then locked gazes with her as he used his free hand to guide himself inside her. Her lips formed an O-shape and he felt her hands squeeze a bit harder on his sides so he said her name questioningly.

"I'm fine." She whispered, flicking her eyes to his mid-chest and then back. "It's just, ah, been a while."

"Do you want me to-"

She cut him off by lifting her head and giving him a sound kiss before rolling her hips against hers, signaling him to continue.

Castle's began an even rhythm with his hips against hers as they kissed again and again and he told her how amazing and wonderful she was. She wrapped her arms around him, pulling their bodies tighter together until he felt hers trembling as it toppled over the cliff once more. He was right behind her, grunting out her name and doing his best to maintain focus enough to roll off her instead of crushing her with his body weight. The moment he was flat against the mattress she curled up against him and rested her head against his chest. Practically too sated to move, all the writer could do was press a sloppy kiss to her head and wrap his arms around her shoulders before falling quickly to sleep.


End file.
